WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR RANK
                   (A variation on the theme from "Cheers")
                             By Martin Pollard   

Making your way on the ship today takes everything you've got,
Taking a break from all your duties sure would help a lot,
Wouldn't you like to beam away?

All those nights when you've got no lights, your tricorder has failed,
And the silly android hung the cat up by its tail,
And the shift relief crew didn't show.

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your rank,
And they're always glad you drank,
You want to be where you can see your troubles thrown in the tank,
You want to be where everybody knows your rank.

Roll out of bed, replicator's dead, the morning's looking bright,
And the shrink ran off to Riker and didn't even write,
And the Klingon wants to see you flipped.

Be glad there's one place on the ship where everybody knows your rank,
And they're always glad you drank,
You want to go where crewmen know you won't make them walk the plank,
You want to go where everybody knows your rank.

=============================================================================

How's that?  My first attempt at a filksong.  (Thanks to the "Cheers" 200th
episode, which ended with a montage of scenes backed by the extended version
of the theme song.)

                           -=[> Martin Pollard <]=-